The Fine Line.

standstill.

2009-12-19T22:18:00.000-08:00

wow, everything's in pretty much of a standstill right now. looks like i'm starting to wrap up my holidays already, although i'm not ready at all to do it. :O hahaha. preparing for the new school term, and OBS. -.- OBS shopping is seriously confusing, you have no idea whether you're buying the right thing in the right amounts. many of the things make me look damn stupid, but i buy because i just need them. and now i need to look for some bawling ass haversack that can take all the paraphernelia. quote from benjamin tan: "i'm ready to die, let's go OBS!"

i will never believe in anything again.

2009-12-16T22:18:00.000-08:00

go scrape your dick in broken glass, asshole.

settling for less.

2009-12-15T21:09:00.000-08:00

i don't know why i put this picture out of all pictures, i'm angry now and not in the mood for anything but banging and wrecking shit, i guess this picture kinda soothes my nerves a bit. i was viewing my log just now, my msn logs from last year. funny shit! hahaha.

forget it EP's almost done! we have to record it, and we can send it as a demo tape to record companies. hopefully we get sponsored, then a full length album from that. but first, our music has to be good. so let's do this shit, TRT! :D

never before seen.

2009-12-12T23:27:00.000-08:00

click to enlarge. the biggest airforce i've built on any mission, honestly.

4 airfields,

8 vindicators,

8 century heavy bombers.

nice crap.

whoa oh, whoa oh.

2009-12-12T05:23:00.000-08:00

ahhh screw this shit, i'm not even in the mood to blog. but still, i feel obliged too. this is too wierd. first, let me go get snickers, so i have something to munch on while blogging. k just got snickers. it was the only fricking chocolate in my fridge. okay, just finished eating snickers. i don't like snickers so much compared to mars, mars is better! some day, i will eat fried mars bars. okay sorry about the chocolate ramble.

i hate this, yeah. i really hate this. waste of my fucking time. how people have the power to bitch and bastard's truly amazing. like me, really. you're my friend, then you're my good friend. if you're not, and you piss me off, i can bastard you to the end of the world. i'm revisiting all the broken memories of last year, and the end of last year. i can't believe you made me cry last night. i can't believe i still wish you were here. i gotta accept it, i think i miss you. i still haven't got you out of my head. which just proves something i saw on a facebook group this afternoon: its harder for guys to get you out of your head than it is for girls. we always see girls cry more and suddenly go more emo publicly, but then you don't really see all the internal struggle us guys go through just to try and forget you. although we do emo at times, three quarters of all the real emotional turmoil is what goes on inside.

guys are not machines that use people. we're people with stronger emotions than anyone. except for some hardcore people. i really hate it when girls just go on about girl power and how us guys just fuck the world up. without us, you wouldn't be here, dammit. i hate people getting misconceptions about guys. but i got one thing to say. don't fuck with us, or we bastard you to the ends of the damn world.

i still don't know why i said that. its just so fucked i felt like saying it. i'm not some male chauvinist pig, and i'm no way in hell a feminist, i'm just saying that its fucking irritating to watch these misconceptions spread and screw with us.

i still can't believe what i wrote in the second half of the 2nd paragraph. i hate this life.

i don't care about life,

all its pain, the sacrifice

i wanna run away from this place,

and find my very own saving grace.

The Retribution Theorem- Saving Grace

suicide season.

2009-12-09T02:47:00.000-08:00

a lot of stuff happened, and i'm not in the physical state to blog. ahh, but screw it. i don't care.

mostly what i've been doing over the holidays is just band, sleep, eat, and a bit of work. for 1 and a half months, i've been doing that purely. which is a good waste of time. band has been pretty good, yet pretty worrying, because our standard seems to be dropping more than anything. i feel scared that the band isn't gonna do as well next year. we're all trying to improve but there're certain people with rotten attitudes that no one can help that just screw everything up for everyone. for the past 2 concert practices, i didn't even play a single note. its kinda irritating to see this all the time, but its really worrying to me, because it shows that the others need more attention and more coaching, and they haven't really been practicing. okay, there're some people who find their mistake and try to change it. but then there're others who just make the mistake and keep on fucking making the same fucking mistake. which is irritating. i'm not here to bastard band. its just really irritating and annoying to find people doing the same mistake again despite people telling them.

besides that i've just been slacking, and thinking. i've changed. really. i think i have. even when someone held me at knife point today, i didn't fricking care. i'm not the man i used to be.

(P.S: after getting rammed during basketball today, i fricking fell and hurt my shoulder bone. its fricking sore, and the soreness hasn't gone away. its red, and fricking painful.)

somewhere else.

2009-12-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

its like the world's looking somewhere else.

brothers fight.

2009-12-05T07:55:00.000-08:00

i love god. i keep telling people not lose faith. but sometimes i really do lose faith myself. i need faith. god, please help me.

fuck i can't let this kill me, let go. i need more time to fix this.

life's a waste of time.

2009-12-04T11:16:00.000-08:00

jamming was good. videos are okay. according to ryan, fucked up, but i think its pretty okay. yeah. burhbye.

what the hell.

2009-12-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

is it just me, or are more people putting up pictures of themselves snogging their significant other. hmmm. publicly declaring love isn't bad, but there's a limit, godammit.

excitement.

2009-12-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

pfft. the stuff i'm going through is really pretty new and in a whole mixture. never experienced this before. i'm gaining a lot of knowledge, not academically but in music, especially in band. today kenneth (section leader) and i had some half hour random session where he and i played some grade 8 snare solo. quite okay la. ahaha. then we were doing marching tricks and stuff like that, aiyah really fun la. (: hahaha. besides that, well there's the shit going on at home, which a few of you would know about. yeah. really new. also found out stuff about my family that i never expected, which is pretty heavy. yet, i kinda knew that there was shit there la. hahaha i'm not making sense, am i. if you understand, good job. if you don't, well... too bad. ;D

hahaha. i really like my 500D, looking forward to jamming and photojourney with the retribution theorem tomorrow! yeahhh. ;D

don't lose faith.

2009-12-01T01:55:00.000-08:00

over the holidays i've been feeling this strong sense of dread that something has been left out of chance, and something has been left behind or left alone that i've forgotten to handle or take. i don't know what that is, but i really hope its something not important.

excited about jamming&photojourney on thursday with the retribution theorem, its been one hell of a long time since we jammed together. writing originals and all. i really want to take this band somewhere in the world, i really wanna make it big with this band. i wanna work really hard on this. "music isn't just a indulgence. its a necessity." -Ultimate Ears

fickel.

2009-11-30T08:31:00.000-08:00

i'm bloody fickle minded, i think i wanted to shift back to blogger because wordpress was lagging a lot on me. seriously, a lot. uploading pictures was waiting for eternity to come. but wordpress had automatic resizing, blogger dosent. so these pictures are huge because i took them with my 500D, 21.1 megapixels. let's see what i can do, or whether blogger has changed while i was gone.

i tried resizing the picture i put in, but then i couldn't really do it. so until i find a way to resize my pictures, no blogger pictures. this is the way in which wordpress was better, but i didn't like that you couldn't really modify your own skins and all that. they use some complicated encryption, but then blogger is so much easier, HTML only. so yeah. this post is to say that i'm back in blogger after some random 3 month stint on wordpress.